On Happiness and Strides in the Right Direction
An essay on the "Unseen" side of happiness and a handful of exciting life updates
Hello Friends,
I’m back again for the second week in a row to represent my attempt to be more consistent in the new year (and share some cool new things in my life).
I plan on playing around with the layout of the newsletter in the next couple weeks in an attempt to find something that truly inspires and makes my life more meaningful (I’m being funnyHAHAHA). But for now here’s a regular old newsletter for the sake of consistency ( and if you’re interested, my favorite thread of the week on my recent writing journey).
Happiness is pretty weird concept to wrap your head around.
I'm coming to realize that it's one of the most subjective terms in the human language. But regardless of what our definition is, we all have something that we're striving for that we believe is going to make us more "happy."
Some of us want to be good at our jobs,
Others of us just want to be good at some weird abstract goal like cooking.
I personally want to be good at creating things in as many varieties as possible. I want to continue to seek out practical ways to implement my creativity into my own life and into the lives of others in the most beneficial ways possible.
the only problem is, my current capacity to do this is far more limited than what is ideal. I don't have the skills, portfolio, or social reach to do this at the rate or scale that I would currently like to be doing it.
So I get frustrated.
But I can do one of two things with this frustration...
I can give in and let it win: I can say things like, "life's un-fair" "I'll always be chasing something," "maybe I should just settle for less."
Or I can work for what I want.
See there's an uncomfortable truth about life and happiness that I'm beginning to pick up on.
Happiness often comes at the expense of hard work, that's no secret. But what's often forgotten are the problems and "bad" feelings that accompany it.
Imagine you're in pursuit of a goal but are lost as to what your next step should be. This is an example of a bad feeling.
If treated incorrectly this bad feeling can escalate into frustration and frustration can escalate into a lack of motivation strong enough to kill a pursuit.
It's hard to imagine this feeling as being a piece in the big picture puzzle of happiness,
but it is.
We have to experience the crappy feelings in order to experience the good ones.
These feelings challenge us. They make us take count of what we are truly about, what we want to pursue, and what we value, but if you're not careful, they'll also knock you right off your horse. Like I said before, this frustration is strong enough to kill a pursuit entirely (and it does for many many people).
So what do we do when these negative feelings come knocking?
We value the "unseen."
In his book "Atomic Habits," James Clear encourages us to value the tiny, "unseen" changes in your actions and habits OVER the results that you want to see them produce. Then, sit back and watch them compound over time into the success that you originally set out to achieve.
We as humans rarely value something we can't extract immediate gratification from. If we can't feel good about something after we do it, it's pretty hard to follow through with it under our own power, even if we know of the long term benefits it reaps down the road.
But the better we can get at fighting this urge to "not do," and replace it with discipline "to do," The more satisfaction we can reap in our our development down the line.
The way I like to think about it is this: It's hard to make small moves now, especially when facing frustration. But what will you fill your time with instead?
The worst thing about frustration is that more often than not, the answer is "nothing." Frustration forces us into a mode of self-pity and despair. We trade potential small and unseen growth for a gallon of ice-cream and 4 hours on Netflix.
At first, this practice will feel a little odd, it may even be uncomfortable.
You practice the small reps of your goal and see no results.
The reason this produces inner conflict is because we've built up an expectation for immediate results...Immediate gratification. When in reality, the best things in life often take time to develop.
It takes days, months, or years of consistent repetition to produce the kids of results we expect. We as humans just don't like to acknowledge it because it's a tough pill to swallow.
Even those seemingly "overnight success" stories that you hear about often have years of repetitions behind them, maybe in slightly different form than expected, but preparation nonetheless..
This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes drilled in from me form my high-school basketball coach (turns out it's a Zig Ziegler quote but I'll give Irvine his credit when it's due).
"Success = Opportunity + Preparation."
We can't always control the rate at which we get our chance to showcase our skills, but we can always make sure we're prepared for when those moments do cross our path. We do this by fighting those urges to do nothing, fighting that fear of wasting our time, and focusing on the processes that will increase our skills instead of the results that we want those skills to produce.
It sounds like a bunch of spiritual, motivational mumbo jumbo, but if you're truly pursing something, I know you can relate. It takes guts to take a step in the right direction. I'm just here to encourage you and tell you that step is going to matter some day, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
On Sunday I had my first ever podcasting experience when I was interviewed by Carl Leducq of the “Carl’s Curious” podcast. We talked about writing, age, and intentions. I haven’t listened to it yet because it made me feel weird to listen to a recording of myself (sign that I won’t be starting my own podcast anytime soon), but my wife says that it was excellent. That means something, right?
I also took the strides of opening up an shop on Etsy for some of my freelance illustration work.
When I say that I opened it up I really mean my wife did. She’s incredible and I think she’s hinting that she wants me to get off my butt and make some money off these silly doodles I’ve been spending all my time on. either way We would both love it if you checked it out HERE
Small steps this week but steps in the right direction nonetheless.
I hope this weeks newsletter brought some inspiration to you and I hope you have a wonderful week.
- Cheers